what is?

It’s 7:14 now and it’s officially 22 hours of no sleep.
There’s lots in my mind and I just can’t seem to stop thinking.
Everything in my mind is now in a blur.
Not knowing what is more important than the other, but there is one thing in particular that keeps popping in my mind.

“Do we do what’s right?” or “Do we do what makes us happy?”

After a long nice productive talk with a friend, the end topic was, “What makes us ‘truly happy’?”
For all the things and times that I have spent with you, was it worth it all?

Does doing the right things makes us happy?
or
Is doing the things that makes us happy, right?

Was it a mistake or a blessing? Was it patience or self-control? Was it fear or strength? Was it a waste or worth it? Was it fake or real? Was it painful or harmful? Was it dangerous or safe? Was it sacrifice or reward?
Was it stupidity or love?

Gahhh..

What I know off now is, I miss my friend. Am I still one of yours?
I still care.

I'm so sorry..

"Living life in the 'single' lane,
Made me wonder about life,
Whether I could love again,
Thinking I was afraid to take the dive.

Before, I thought I moved on,
The past behind, it's long gone,
Or is it better forgotten,
Or leave it as an unnecessary burden.

Yes, no, time will eventually still tick,
Going forward and not stopping,
Life gave me a kick,
To stop hoping and dreaming.

Well, that's all I know,
'My' point of view,
Time to go with the flow,
Start things afresh, anew.

Still, there are things I can't help,
Memories, wonder and all,
Maybe all I need is a nap,
To recover from that once so heavy fall.

I'm up and strong now,
With experience and thicker skin,
Too many times I've said "oww",
Open my eyes, a new life begin.

Met someone who showed me something,
We call it 'love',
Something I've been missing,
Even from the 'Man' above.

My prayers answered,
Even if it was a long time ago,
Whoops, I'm caught, busted,
Love comes back, how can u say no?"

What are the signs of someone being happy?
That has become a mystery to me over the past few weeks.
Is it when they smile? cry? what?

Smiling don't mean, "I'm happy."
It might as well mean, "I'm coping, thank you very much."

For what's worth, I know I'm happy NOW.
Does it matter if I know I'll get sad in the near future?
Gah.. that won't happen.

My eyes are wide open now.

You can't hide. I see you. Come back.

"Have I lost a friend?"

거짓말.

just a little.

I had to come to a point my life where I had to ask myself, “Wth is wrong with you Rhys?”

I haven’t been myself lately, and all the things I do and say is like a mask that I have to wear.
I’m sick and tired of people pitying on me, giving me all this false hopes and dreams and whatnots.
I ain’t perfect.

I’ve been staying strong for way too long, but that doesn’t mean I’m bullet proof.
Treat me like how you treated me before, and not show me ‘mercy’ or compassion.

The past week, everyone seemed down. Well not everyone, but the ones I care for.
and it hurts to see people down and depressed or sad.
Either it’s you, or my close friends.

I try to be myself, and try to be the all supporting and positive when I’m approached for help.
but bit by bit, it sinks into me.
I cant help to feel what they feel too.
Loneliness.Betrayal.Misunderstood.Forgotten.

Thought I moved on completely.. but after a simple greeting, no I wasn’t. heh. Silly.

Silly silly me..

I promised a friend, that I will stay strong. Not for my friends or whoever, but for myself too.
and THIS is a reminder to self.
“Stay strong. Do it for yourself. It’s always worth it.”

Full moon tonight. Heh.

Idk anymore

How can a simple “Hi”, leave my mind in wonderment, shock and awe.

After all it’s said,
Either you linger or fade,
That what was once man-made,
To slowly turn cold and dead.

gahfmldilemma

Soup Kitchen

“Soup Kitchen”, just this place in Brickfields, where people serve food to the poor, drug addicts, homeless and blind.

It really broke my heart, to see so many people in need of food and help.
and all I could do, is just serve them food and be their company for the afternoon.

There was this kid, wearing a ‘Boys’ Brigade’ uniform, and he came marching in.
Holding his shoulder was his parents.
He’s 9.
Both of them are blind, and he brings them in every Saturday just for a mild lunch.
How can a kid so young, be so mature? To help and support his family in all this small ways.
To see him loving his parents endlessly, makes me wonder, that is what love is.

After serving food and drinks and whatnots, we would go talk to those who stayed back.
I asked this man, “Uncle, how’s life?”
and he would say, “GREAT, everything is just fine. Even though it’s abit hot the pass few days, making me sweat more,” and he would laugh.
I could honestly say that it was a sincere smile and laugh.

How is it that someone who has nothing much, be contented in life, while all of us sit in our comfortable chairs complaining bout the air-condition or not having the latest phone.

There are things we deserve and don’t.
Maybe we’re lucky to be born in such a nice setting in this city life, but I was reminded that there are those aren’t so lucky, and they need help.
I honestly didn’t do much, but I will continue to do more.

We all deserve to have a good life and be loved.
I hope that we choose our loved ones with a lil bit more caution.
Find someone who will love you for who you are and what you are without hesitation,
and not someone who will take you for granted and come back whenever they please.

But never regret loving. (;