Oh Oh Oh, Ho Ho Ho

Well, December is finally here.
Not exactly the end of the month yet, just slightly almost half, but lots has happened.

Actually… the things that happened, I can never ask for more.
I would call it an early Christmas gift or New Year’s present,
but it was, nice.

An acoustic guitar, rekindled friendship and refreshing moments of companionship.

I really couldn’t ask for more. After months of wishing and praying and sleepless nights thinking when will those come true, it all finally did.

After what was done, it felt like a HUGE rock was literally removed.
Heartbeat back to normal, sleep became more comfortable and mind cleared.

But all that made me wonder if I can really do things myself, or do I always need to wait for something to happen.
Yes, I did feel a ‘lil bit worthless and useless. But I was just thinking WAYYY too much.
So kids, don’t be like grandpa Rhys. LOL

Right now…
it just feels a ‘lil bit too quiet.

Friends away, family going off, home alone, idle phone, plan-less and whatever.

I need to find something productive to do now.
Maybe more like climbing hills and writing screenplays.
or I could just lay dead on my bed. Wth, no.

Anyways, Merry Christmas.

Last Christmas, I …

Grad3

Same place, same crowd, same atmosphere, same speakers, different person.

Loneliness hits you, when you least expect it to happen. That’s because the person on your right and left would suddenly just disappear and you’re left all alone. Nothing to do, but to give empty cheers to strangers on stage.

Knowing that everyone else has to have their moment, and it was time to live the moment, but just wasn’t my time.

I wouldn’t want to spoil or ruin anyone’s moment, so I left.

Everyone deserved a good and enjoyable time, and it would be an ass of me to ruin it by sending off bad aura.

Words from the Valedictorian and the program director both gave a wonderful and meaningful speech. One bout not just only winning the race, but finishing it with someone, helping them up when they fall. The other, that life might be short, and to live life to say, “I’ve had lived a good life, and not hurt anyone,” is the essence of life itself.

As lonely, as sentimental, as touched, as fun as it is,
I see that hobble. 

Dream/Sorry

I don’t know whether the dreams we dream are what our subconscious are thinking, cause I know for sure when I’m fully awake, I’m not.

Not to say I hate it, but I wasn’t completely loving it too, cause to a point, I knew it was all just a dream.

I’m not sure how I would judge it, be it bad or be it good, it did affect me.

and I’m sorry.

I didn’t know what to do, afraid that I might fall. So I just played it safe.
all about you. lol

Fragile

Today I was reminded of life itself.

That no matter how much we do and plan with it, it’s always fragile,
and today, I kinda have a grasp of the meaning of it.

Fragile, that it could break or be taken away, just like that.
Maybe it’s just me, but I always  hear, that “life is short.”

Today, I found out that a lecturer from my Pre-U course (CIMP), passed away due to some misunderstanding, which cost him his life. And he had no fault of any sort.

A friend of mine posted in FB saying,
“This picture really bring tears down my cheek... how can such an adventurous sporty and open minded person like him die so early? all he wants is to travel around the world and live the moment. I respect you sir you are really my inspiration. “

What he said was so true. He was just out on a holiday an out of a sudden, the next thing he knew was that he was fighting for his life. It really hurts to see an individual so outgoing and cool, to just come to an end like that.

I didn’t know Mr.Pelland personally, but from seeing the lives that he touched and the people he has changed, it truly gave me the impression that he IS a great man. Doing what he can and did what he wanted with an open heart and mind. I respect him as an individual that was able to truly help and change people.

And for that, he would truly be my definition of real ‘coolness’.

Another thing that strike me today, was the fact that my grandma has high blood pressure.
It might not seem like a huge issue, but if I actually think about it, I could have lost my grandma today as well.

She’s 78 but acting like she’s 60. And I’m happy to see that she is still as active as most grandmas out there. I ain’t dissing anyone’s grandma, but I bet you love them as much as I love mine. The thought of losing her, is really unbearable.

I was supposed to just drop something off today and be off. I had a long day myself, and wanted to take a rest from a long day, till I found out. And I wanted to stay as long as I can, to really enjoy her presence as if it was her last.

Life itself is really fragile.

Say what it’s needed, and I guess I have said what needs to be said.
In the end, it’s all said and done.

here.we.go.

Eyes Closed .

Little Tommy always kept his eyes shut. He pretended to never see what was happening to guard himself from the pain and heartache. It wasn’t his first time avoiding and pretending like things was just happening, but he fears that if he actually clicks or imagines that he does, the world he lived in would just fall and crumble. He never really dared to go further than the boundaries he made, cause he knows what would happen exactly when he does. Eventually, pain still find its ways to creep in.

Who are you talking to..

Walk

A Walk To Remember.

A story of an undying faith and love of two individuals towards each other.
I can honestly, watching it again from a whole new perspective did teach me some lessons.

1. Say ‘No’ to peer pressure.
2. Every girl is beautiful.
3. Miracles do come true.
4. Breaking promises ain’t that bad.
5. Last minute work does payoff.
6. Apologizing heals.
7. There are ways to learn new things.
8. A girl can change a guys’ life around.
9. Sacrifice is a form of love.
10. Girls are seductive in their ways.
11. Break away from what doesn’t make you better.
12. There’s always that one friend who’s there.
13. Handshakes are necessary in an awesome friendship.
14. Laughter helps break the ice.
15. Brutal honesty is the best way.
16. The truth isn’t easy accepted, but it takes time.
17. Learning to dance is required.
18. Supporting mothers do help.
19. Jealousy does exist between strangers and haters.
20. Girls pushes guys to the limit.
21. Have a to-do-list.
22. Finish the to-do-list.
23. Have someone help you finish it.
24. Never give up on teaching.
25. Lies can save a life.
26. Leukemia is a bitch.
27. There’s a fear of letting go.
28. Living life to its fullest.
29. Tattoo’s are cool, temporary ones.
30. Never judge someone for what they wear.
31. Girls have killer smiles.
32. Not expecting anything.
33. Ask the dad for permissions first.
34. You can’t outrun the police.
35. Have fine dining for a date.
36. Pay for everything.
37. Pretend everything’s alright to look strong.
38. Waiting for the girl to wake up.
39. Sleeping under the stars won’t be a bad idea.
40. I should totally join a musical.
41. Forget the lines, and just say, “You’re beautiful.”
42. Switchfoot is an awesome band.
43. Go the distance to find the answers.
44. Sometimes, it’s about being there, even if it’s 10seconds.
45. Find a book of quotes and read everyone.
46. Have faith in someone even if they don’t look like it.
47. In suffering comes compassion, in suffering look for hope.
48. Never giving up, even if I know it’s going to end.
49. Love isn’t easy, for both sides.
50. Death can’t separate love.

In that list, I’ve done some, failed some.
but definitely, learnt a lot from most.

Watching the same movie from a different perspective gives everything a new look.

Give it a try, what can you learn?

a kiss?

what does a kiss mean?
either a peck or making out itself.
"what IS a kiss?"

went and Google-d my questions. got all sorts of stuffs.
one of 'em said, that it was a way of showing affection.
or it could be, the transferring of hormones. wtf.
or just for the heck of it?

is there more of an answer to just the scientific and obvious?
is there no elaborated answer?

for me, 
-a kiss on the lips, signifies an openness and honesty in a relationship. that the partner allows the other to actually take a step closer into her life, physically and relationship-wise.
-making out, on the other hand, is more than just a feeling, but the action of embracing one another, in each other's arms. but rather being all comfortable and trustworthy enough to trust the partner not only with their lips, but body, too.

i don't really know why, am i thinking so much after watching a movie that i had watched over 5times, but only now just thinking bout it.
blame it on the nostalgia, blame it on the curiosity, blame it on me.
wtfcares.

changing a place to put my thoughts,
rather than sharing it to 796,
i will share it to 53 instead.

but what does it mean to you?